Sunday, November 9, 2008

The Facts of Life Are All About You. Yooooooouuuu.

I may be about to tread dangerously close to crossing that line of things you don't want to know about me, but, we're all girls here, right?
I dunno. Pretend.

So, the other night I was undressing for bed and India was in my bedroom talking to me. I took off my shirt and then my bra, and ladies, you know that glorious moment when the bra comes off and it feels so damn good and you give a stretch and a rub where that stupid wire has been squeezing you all day long? Well, I'm stretching and rubbing and reaching for my pyjamas, when India looks at me with her little face all scrunched up in desire and she says, "Momma, can I please touch them too?"
"No. You can't, India. They're private."
"Please, Momma. Please."
No!"
"I'm never going to get boobies. It's not fair."
"You'll get them, India. Every girl does when they're older."
"Oh. Good."

Good grief. That's what I say.
I suppose this conversation is an improvement from the complete lack of conversation about boobies that I had with my own mother - she didn't even notice I had grown a set so I went and got my own first bra from my older cousin's hand me downs - but sheesh, the girl is five. Next she's going to be reading, Are you there God? It's me, Margaret and doing her bust exercises.

Hold on to your hats. Or boobies. Life is going to get tricky in no time flat. (!)

8 comments:

JB said...

I'd say she's right on time. Laney used to ask about this too, often, -- she'll be six in January. I'll never forget the day I'd just put on my swimsuit, she was like three, she walked in my room and said "Mommy, you look PRETTY." Damn Victoria's Secret commercials!

Please do talk to India about the FOL. Start soon and do it often. I know it can be awkward, but I can recommend some good books that are age appropriate if you're interested. Truth is, if we wait until they hit puberty or whatever, they'll have heard it all already, from the wrong people, and half the info. will be incorrect.

Angela said...

ha! we're miles ahead, janna, and i totally agree with you. i decided a long time ago that india won't grow up with those same hazy ideas of sex and periods and breasts and penises that i did. i just can't believe she's got booby lust already. glory me.

Aaron Stewart said...

I don't have boobies to hold onto Angela.

Kimberly said...

he-he - growing up, whenever we were in the car and about to hit a bump or something, my mom would yell "Hold on to your boobies!". I still tend to say that if its only girls in the car, and it always illicits plenty of giggles.

Angela said...

aaron, hahhahhhaah... um, i think you may have missed a comma in that there sentence.

kimberly, i'm stealing it. for certain. i'll let you know how it goes first time i have occasion to use it.

cecily said...

Oh my... I had to cover my eyes because after years of indoctrination... I still can't talk about boobies.

Oh OK, that's an exaggeration, but you made me giggle and created a few mind pictures.

My Mum was all good and nice and took me to be measured for a bra when I was in grade 7 I think (12 or 13). Her good intentions were thwarted by the shop keeper who said 'She's a bit small Mum'... I've carried this burden ever since then. (Which when you think about it, is no burden at all. Hahahaha)

Angela said...

you're so funny, cecily, that when i read that at 5:00am it still made me laugh out loud.
i think we all need to swap first bra stories. they're always so good.

caroline said...

Anneke says to us all in the van the other day, with her shirt lifted to her chin, hey, i think i'm growing boobies mom! Look, here they are!! I was like "hmmm, oh... well...?" On our trip we were talking about "girly things" me and her in the bathroom at the restarant, and she proceeded to explain it to the boys once we came out, and turns to me "did i explain it right?"
Yup.